(NEW YORK) — You might think kids are sharing too much on social media, but in many cases it’s parents who are doing it — with kids complaining that their moms and dads are revealing way too much.
For 14-year-old Lillian Durben of Silverlake, Washington, her mom Kate Durben was posting photos of her without permission.
“To be honest, I was very upset,” Lillian told ABC News’ Good Morning America in a sit-down interview.
Mom Kate said that although she knew her daughter didn’t want her to share certain pictures, she just couldn’t resist.
“I justified it by saying, ‘It’s fine, it’s a cute picture. Why wouldn’t she want me to share it?,’” Kate told GMA. “She looked cute … but that isn’t the issue, is it?”
“It really wasn’t the picture I was upset about,” Lillian explained. “Mostly it was just because I asked her not to post my photo. I just was hurt after I clearly didn’t want her to.”
Kate has since pulled down the photos that Lillian had asked her not to share.
Even celebrity moms have found themselves in hot water. Actress Gwyneth Paltrow was recently scolded by her daughter Apple after posting a photo of her on Instagram.
“Mom, we have discussed this,” Apple wrote in the comment section. “You may not post anything without my consent.”
Jodi Gold, a child and adolescent psychologist who is the director of the Gold Center for Mind, Health and Wellness, said parents of middle schoolers and above should get consent from their children before posting.
“We’re all on social media and all of our kids are on social media, so we’re now going to have to navigate the parental-child relationship in the realm of social media,” Gold told GMA.
Gold also warned that even if your kids are too young to care, you should still use discretion.
“The naked [baby] pictures in the bathroom are really cute, but will the 20- or 25-year-old children really appreciate them? Probably not,” Gold said.
And it’s not just photos. In April, an anonymous user who said he or she was in middle school vented on Reddit, “…my mom has posted literally every aspect of my life … If we get in a fight, she’s on FB asking for advice. I feel like I have absolutely no privacy. I can’t talk to my own mother for fear she’ll post it on social media. I’m her child, not her dog.”
Gold said it’s important for parents to keep the dialogue open with their kids.
“It is very dangerous if you start posting about what’s going on with you and your child, because you will shut down that dialogue immediately and you will lose your child’s trust,” said Gold.
“It’s fine to vent to friends but there’s appropriate places to vent, and social media is not the place,” Gold added.
Kate Durben said she now sees that damage can be done if you don’t respect your child’s wishes.
“She’s got her own image to manage,” Kate said of her daughter.
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